Monday, September 7, 2009

Shake yer Booty Phat Grrrl (Reeeeeeemix)

Ohhh how I love a good REMIX. These tunes (of the week) may cause involuntary dancin in the grocery store, gym, doctors office, my kitchen sink..........LOVE. Ps. The first person to DL this list and update my I-Pod gets major friend points - C'mon hook a slow speeder up....

Take you There (Remix) - Donnie Klang Ft. P Diddy

Boyfriend #2 (Remix) - Pleasure P/Flo Rida


Freak Show - R. Kelly

Girls Kiss Girls - Pittsburgh Slim

Hey Ya! - Outkast (oldie but always a goodie)

I'm in Miami Bitch - LMFAO

Money Jane - Baby Blue Soundcrew feat. Kardinal, Sean Paul, Jully Black

Face Drop - Sean Kingston

Entourage (Remix) - Omarion feat 50cent

Shewolf - Shakira

Wobble - V. I. C.

Turn My Swag on (Remix) - Soulja Boy ft. Lil Wayne, Jim Jones, Maino, and Jadakiss

She's Happy - Auburn

Get your Money Up - Keri Hilson/Keyshia Cole

Evacuate the Dance Floor - Cascada

Swing - Savage

Overtime - Ace Hood Feat. T-Pain & Akon

I don't need it - Jamie Foxx feat. Timba

Digital Girl (Remix) - Jamie Foxx feat Drake, The Dream & Kayne

Walkin on the Moon - The Dream feat. Kanye West

Hi Hater - (Remix) Maino, T.I., Swizzy, Plies, Jadakiss, Fabolous

Patron Tequila -Paradiso Girls

Birthday Sex (Remix) -Jeremih

I.E. - In Essence

Everyday -Kardinal Offishal

G-Get up and Dance -Faber Drive


Run this Town - Jay Z feat. Rihanna & Kayne West

(Defence) The Anthem (Remix) - Pitbull/Lil Jon

Obsessed (Remix) - Mariah Carey

Who's Real - Jadakiss/Swizz Beatz

Supplier - Shawty LoTrey Songz

Fireburnin (Remix) Sean Kingston feat. Pitbull

Ego - (Remix) Beyonce feat Kayne West

Get Up - Ciara

Be Easy (REMIX) - Massari

Million Bucks - Maino feat. Swizz Beats

Sean Paul - So fine

Whats your name -Usher/Will.I.Am

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Sunday thoughts for you Sinners

Sometimes I like lists:

1. How is it that every month Cosmo comes out with 125 ALL NEW (try if you dare!!) Sex Tricks? Is this fact Cosmo?

2. Toasted banana bread is super yummy.

3. Is it really upper hand when you end up alone?

4. Fall shopping makes me giddy.

5. Maybe we all need to take a deep breath, smile and be happy with what we have already.

6. Whats up with Organic Cigarettes?!

7. Even with nothing to do I find myself procrastinating. Mad Skills.

8. I truly believe Earley (the dog) can read my mind.

9. I did the Activia 14 day challenge and it might of changed my life.

10. I think I heard my Dad fall out of the Tub last night. I laughed my head off, felt bad, then laughed harder.

11. Sometimes you just need to cry it out, no matter how big or small the issue may be.

12. This morning I had a Java Moose -Fog Horn Fine Blend Black- that my Dad brewed in his Tim Hortons coffee maker. It was fantastic.

13. I always order a Diet Coke with my Big Mac Combo. (with super sized fries and extra McChicken Sauce) I would say that I like the taste better, but that would be a lie.

14. My heel smells funny, but I kinda like it.

15. I hope everyone is lucky enough to have the kind of friends I do.

16. I might of googled our Prime Minister last week.

17. Crush up an Aspirin, mix it with a bit of water (or spit) put it on any blemishes and wake up clear (and alone)

18. #17 really works.

19. I am convinced that people who type "LOL" are never really LOL'ing and people who type "LMAO" just feel sorry for you annnd people who type "ROTFLMAO" are....just losers.

20. Sometimes a Blow Job is just a Blow Job. Cosmo you suck. No pun intended
.

Friday, September 4, 2009

Funny the way is,not right or wrong, somebody's heart is broken and it becomes your favorite song...


I wanna be in Washington, Gorgin in George this weekend (with all the cool kids!) If I could stomp my foot I would. Boo. I can't even talk about it. I was also gonna post some good DMB links but dial up SOOKS. This has got me all flapped up. I'm gonna go lay on the deck and listen to Warehouse on repeat until I am drunk on my parents beer.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

This sure beats the belt ladies...


Warning: The following content may not be suitable for all family members.

www.divacup.ca


This may be the best thing since Depo!!!

Guess what you're all gettin for Christmas?!

Dirty Rant

I gotta get something off my chest. I just don't get it. I try to be an understanding/empathetic/non judgemental human being, I really do. (Really, Really!)

But here's the deal: Whats up with dudes who SPIT?!! To me, this is the equivalent of shooting snot out of your nose and letting it run down your face. (In public, cause of course when you are alone, it would be completely acceptable...haa)

I have heard all the excuses:

1. My mouth gets all spitty/flemmy (WTF?!! WE ALL PRODUCE SALIVA! MY FUCKING GRAMPIE HAD LUNG DISEASE THAT MADE HIM HACK UP MOUNDS OF STUFF AND NEVER ONCE DID HE SPIT IN PUBLIC)

2. I have a bad taste in my mouth - WOW, chew a piece of gum, or better yet BRUSH YO TEETH YOU DIRTY, DIRTY HUMAN!

3. I am trying to quit smoking. Ok and what, take up SPITTING?!

4. It's actually chewing tobacco - Wow, you are a REAL LOSER. Last time I checked it wasn't 1965.

5. It's just a bad habit. I have a bad habit of picking my noes, and guess what? I do it only when absolutely, positively A L O N E.

PHEW!

Oh, and It is just as rude when you spit in the kitchen sink. Actually, maybe worse. I wash my apples and eating utensils in THAT sink you just spit/hockered in!(Don't even get me started on the "HOCKER")

You would ASSUME such rudeness would be the result of a poor upbringing or a person of a lower economic class. I always ASSUME this. However I have seen so called "high class" goofballs spit out the window of their Mom's Audi. Instant turn off. I will ride the bus alone for the rest of my life before holding hands with you. You dirty, dirty dude should be ashamed.

Before this gets outta hand I am gonna go meditate (and eat some peanut butter M&M's)

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Don't hate cause I'm hotter than you...

For as long as I can remember I have been a product junkie. A trip to Shoppers Drug Mart is like the most delicious high -it leaves me trippin for hours. To say I have tried every beauty product in Atlantic Canada is hardly an exaggeration. I have even broadened my horizons with online shopping. Have you ever wondered if "La Mer" is really worth the coin? It set me back approx. $140 for a 1 oz. Tub .To my disappointment, I didn't wake up looking like Beyonce. I actually woke up sobbing that I was now a poor, greasy, SUCKER.


So girls (and my metro boys) I thought I'd save you some time and money. Trust me - These products will NOT disappoint. I simply love them!


There are some things I can't live without. We all have quirky OCD like routines (or it might be
just me) but none the less, I am addicted to teeth whitening. Some call it: White-o-rexia, but whatev. Again, I have tried it all. The best of the best as far as price, convenience and POW! fantastical white chompers are: Crest Daily Whitening Strips. I put em on in the morning post coffee while I am in the shower and faster than I can wash my hair and shave my legs (these babies work in FIVE MINUTES) It's done. You'll be smiling all day!



Tweezers, Pluckers, Yankers, Torture Device...whatever you call em...I am shocked at the amount of people that don't use them. I am obsessive. I love a good tweeze. Sick maybe, but to me you need no eye make up when you have good brows. My secret mantra: Messy Brows = Messy Bush. Enough said. These ones are worth the money. They get the hair EVERY time and you will never prick your skin by mistake. They are a bit pricey (approx $30) but seriously this will be the last pair you buy. They also come in fun colors! Tweezerman Just do it bitches.




Ok, so my skin sorta never grew up. I'm like a hormonal 15 year old. I have tried, Murad, Proactive, NuSkin, Prescription Ointments, EVERY SINGLE BOTTLE you can buy at shoppers and NOTHING has compared to: Clinique 3 step Acne Solution. It is FANTASTIC. My skin isn't perfect but it is the closest to "normal" I have ever experienced. Don't whine about the price (approx $80 for the facial soap, toner and cream) think of all the crap that just ends up going to waste in your medicine cabinet. I never wear foundation any more! It is a bit cheaper to actually get the "bar soap" it lasts way longer than the pump, you get a pretty soap dish and it is EXCELLENT to use on your body after whatever makes you sweaty...



I have a closet full of half empty bottles of Shampoo and Conditioner. I have spend rid-dam-diculous amounts on shit I rinse down the drain. Redken, Biolage, Matrix, Schwarzcolf, John Freida, Bedhead, Joico, Nexxus, Rusk...on and on and onnn....but I keep goin back to Pantene. Yup, it's true. Makes my hair silky, light and smells so fresh and yummy...and under 5 bones.



While we are on the topic of hair...(this is #3 on my list of beauty obsessions) You gotta deep condition weekly. I mean if you want "crunchy Blvd." hair then don't. Just sayin. I actually buy Natural Instincts Hair Dye for the Weekly Color Treat Conditioner. It's INSANE. The hair dye is only $10 and you would spend way more than that in a salon for conditioner anyway. Smells like coconut mixed with a bit of fresh air. Slap er on for 30 minutes on Sunday and you'll make everyone jealous all week (I couldn't find an actual picture of the conditioner but its this box)




If you only buy ONE hair product this year make this it: Moroccan Oil. (You have to get it at a Salon) THIS SHIT IS BANANAS! It is a leave in treatment/damage protector/slammin shiner/make your hair smell like vacation sex all in one bottle. It is AMAZING. Works on all kinds of hair, it will not weigh it down, and it makes your hair look simply SIC. Its about $30 per bottle, but it has many uses. I slather it on my body sometimes cause it smells THAT good. If you don't believe me Google it girls. Better yet, come visit me and I'll let you test it out.





I'm not much of a morning person and this body wash wakes me up (in more ways than one) It smells like the fresh spearmint, actually tingles (yes tingles....) has the best lather, keeps you "just soft enough" and even doubles as a shampoo. My dude friends love it. I love it. Everyone is happy. You gotta hit up Bath and Body Works - but we all do anyway - CO Bigalow Mentha Body Wash.





I have used body oil in place of "cream" for years. I used to think my mom was weird, nope just GENIUS. It's NOT greasy or Oily! When you are still a bit damp from the shower (I keep mine right in the tub) just slather it on and get out (carefully cause its makes things a bit slippy!) It sinks in and makes you feel like BUTTA. It also gives you a bit of a sheen. Super Sexy. Neutrogena light Sesame Oil is my favorite. I have converted hundreds (ok maybe 10) and they are never goin back. You can pour some in your bath and soak in it too. Listen, the Sesame does smell a bit sandalwoody. I dig it. If you don't my second fav is Johnson's Baby Oil with Aloe. Personally I like smellin a bit woodsy in comparison to baby bum, but to each his own.




I'm pretty lazy. I'm also a tanning bed survivor. Olay Definity Color Recapture makes me feel 19 again. It's an anti aging moisturizer with lots of good vitamins and stuff to revive your abused skin. (SPF too!) It also has a touch of foundation to cover minor imperfections. So you get your SPF, Day cream and Foundation all in one. Wicked.




Vaseline. Do you know how great it really is? In the baby isle you can actually get mini's that go in your purse. I use it on my eyelashes -adds a bit of shine and darkens them up a bit plus moisturizes -instead of mascara through the week. You add a bit of loose eyeshadow to it and it makes smokey eyes, add it to a bit of blush to make a pretty lip stain, in the winter put it on at night around my dry eyes and nail cuticles, not to mention it is great on chapped lips and noses. All that for under 2 bones and a mini tub will last you years! C'mon yo...




I am not a fan of body hair. Venus Breeze Blades (no I am not gonna say makes shaving a breeeze but I kinda wanna) 4 blades, 2 moisture strips, surrounded by built in shaving cream bars that lather your skin pre blade. It really has cut my shaving time in half. Whats cool about these ones are that once the shaving bars are gone the blades are still sharp. Sooo just slap on some of that cheap Pantene conditioner (you'll never buy shaving cream again) and voila. Another Bonus is that the blades will hook on to whatever old Gillette razor you have. Smooth.

Soul Food

Have you ever had the kind of meal that makes you so feel so satisfied you could just curl up and die a happy, fulfilled person?

I just had one of "those meals" and if it wasn't for my mangled cankle/mutant foot I would do the running man to a JT track.

So what was it?

A juicy, BBQ'd with love, hamburger, with real cheddar cheese, a fluffy sesame seed lightly toasted bun, with some buttery HELLMAN'S, a tiny bit of ketchup, iceberg lettuce and a very thinly sliced tomato. Washed it all down with some 1% chocolate milk and two Ginger Sparkle cookies. (To note, it was eaten on the deck breathing in the cool fall air listening to some new Paulo Nutini)

Ahhhh, who needs therapy? My parents house isn't that bad after all.

That's all I have to say. Really.