Thursday, January 14, 2010

No you can't always get what you want...

So here we are - 2010. A brand new year. Too bad we are our old selves.

Resolutions are for losers. Lets face it. I chose to only make ones I can keep, if any at all.
The fitness resolutions make me chuckle. Everyone in Saint John is fat. Get over it. Seriously though. It's the peeps that tie on their brand new kicks January first with a baggie full of organic broccoli that are en route to a break down mid February. Being a horrible person, it makes me smile. Another popular one is "volunteering" - what a great thing - but I generally find such people just like "volunteering" the info that they are gonna be such a great humanitarian. Ps. That really gets you no points, and if anything makes SO much worse than me.

I'm not hatin on self improvement though. Lets just be realistic. Here is my list for 2010. Make fun of me all you want:

1. I vow to be more diligent in checking my voice weekly is a bit slack?

2. While on the topic of telecommunications, I will also try to not screen your call... every time you call.

3. If I REALLY don't like you, I'm NOT going to be friends with you. Save the drama for your Mama - I'm over it.

4. I will learn to make at least two meals this year. (They don't have to be healthy OR fancy)

5. No more tanning beds. EVER. This Danny Tanner is DONE with the fake n bake.

6. No more "Dofers" (If you don't know what this means then good for fucking you)

7. If I need some help - I'm just gonna ask. If I wanna cry - I'm gonna sob... If I love you - I'm gonna say so (this excludes the Podiatrist) AND If I want a freakin cookie - I'm gonna have two.

8. I will watch Mama Mia at least 5 more times.

9. I am going to attempt to like (un battered) shrimp.

10. Rather than hitting the snooze button seven times every work day morning I'm aiming for twice.

That's all I got.

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