Saturday, December 5, 2009

See I'm about an 1/8th away from ballin every single day...

Rich. Mint. Ballin. Epic...insert your favorite "urban" adjective right HERE.

1. So Remember how I have been doing house reno's? Alright... the Toilet I bought... slogan - catch phrase - in bold letters, on the box read this: Your Business. Your Brand. Gerber, this is plain genius. I liked it so much I bought two. (shit you not) I have laughed about this to myself for the better part of three weeks.

2. Found out my crank, waste of life neighbor, thought I was selling the house. Think again jerk bastard. I look forward to making your life a living hell for many years to come. For all my other wonderful neighbors you can look forward to a delicious holiday tin of bits and bites on your door step next week!

3. One of my best friends shit her pants last week.

4. For all of you who used to frequent THE WELL circa 2001: DL (down load?) Bron-Yr-Aur Stomp - Led Zeplin. Crack a Moose light and rip out a kitchen party. Props to KMFG!!! It'll take ya back. I can smell my bangs. Mall... bangs.

5. My credit card bill came in at a measly 7K this month. I actually paid it. In full. Hi my name is Haley, and I'm a responsible adult?!! (who is living with her parents - minor detail)

6. I had an appointment with a Podiatrist last week. A young, sexy one! (I know, I didn't think that existed either) After my exam, he goes "check it out" and whips off his shoe and proceeds to shows me an ankle just as messed as mine. I told him we must be sole mates. He loved it. I think I actually love him.

7. My brother and bestie in the Westie is coming home for the holidays annnnd that deserves a big time 'ballin in my books.

8. Rehab take two starts on Monday. My track pants and sweat bands are packed. I'm ready to bring it.

9. Due to the up coming 'hab check in I felt it necessary to hit up a local pub frontin the Moon Boot. Might not have been one of my better ideas. The bottle of wine was a real good idea though.

10. So you know MSN? You"chat" on there right? To your friends? Let me just say I am obviously outta this loop! Short, (or long) end of this story is...I don't have a web cam. Some people do! I was having a chat (about the weather no less) and one of my "friends" decides to turn the cam on his stark naked body. I'm not gonna lie. I lost my shit. Funniest. Thing. Ever. C'mon kids, is THIS what I'm missin?! (Clearly I'm old) I'm down with the nude, but seriously? naked birds via MSN dirty? yes. Funny as heck when your gimped out on the couch? HELLS YES. Please also note this truly had nothing to do with #9.... ;)

Happy Holidays! XOXOX

No comments:

Post a Comment