Monday, February 27, 2012

Generally Crazy

A Brownie Batter Blizzard with an extra scoop of Oreo just saved my life.

I went through the drive though, in case my debit card declined so I could drive off quick with my giant cup of batter. Funny. I have managed to lose my credit card TWICE in a week and a half. Bar Tabs are always a bad idea. I had to leave the establishment a voice mail today and felt like the biggest life loser ever. Worse, a co-worker over heard me leaving the message. Awesome. I'm too ashamed to call the credit card company again, as they just replaced the card last week remember, so lets just cross our fingers that it's really just in my purse and my lasik is acting up or something.

Sooo I am happy to announce that all the shiny faced elliptical hogs have finally given up on their resolutions like the rest of us. It's so nice to be back to the gym with all the same old miserable, sweaty regulars. Speaking of giving up, I have whole heartedly failed at not hitting the snooze button, reading 3 different NewZ publishing's and anything and everything else I said I would "do in lieu of 2012" So friggin silly! Who was I kidding? The paper is BORING and makes my fingers black. Gross. I like hitting snooze, it's my morning "warm up" I can't even remember my third thing...Oh I think it was to "date smarter" - that deserves a collective hearty chuckle. Define smarter really? I didn't (really) make that one measurable, so whateves. No Pec Flexers though. That's something. We are only two months in, and I am doing better. Maybe this will be the one I keep.

While on the fitness topic here is a little cardio pet peeve: It never fails I choose the machine beside a "competitive gawker" You know the ones. The ones who legit think it's a competition AND because they are going "faster" than you then that means they are "winning" OK so heres the thing:

1. Every one goes faster than me. E V E R Y O N E. You are not winning. I'm limping for fuck sakes.

2. They are called INTERVALS you stupid, stupid A-hole.

3. I UNDERSTAND IT LOOKS LIKE I AM CRAWLING BUT THAT IS BECAUSE I AM ON LEVEL 900 AND YOU ARE STILL ON LEVEL 2. CHECKING ON MY SPEED AND CALORIE COUNTER EVER THREE SECONDS ISN'T MAKING YOU MY TEAM MATE. KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ASS OF THE PERSON IN FRONT OF YOU.

really.

Oh - here is a funny little snippet: So, last week I thought I would mix it up and go to the "other gym". I like to call this one the "sexy gym" as it's a co-ed meat ball extravaganza! (!!!) I am NOT a cute-sy fitness girl. AT ALL. I am there to do my deal, sweat my vag balls off and get outtie. SO I was finishing my cardio, stumbling to get the spray cleaner when this dude goes:

"Wow, good session"

I had my ear buds in (therefor could barely hear him over the pumpin Notorious BIG beats) was like:

"Huh?"

Then realized he was referencing the fact that I had a sweaty ass and a purple face and instead of just smiling like a normal person and sayin "Yup!" I thought it was normal to say:

"Oh no, I'm always like this. I'm just generally sweaty"

WHAT?! I'm just generally sweaty?!? (true fact BTW) He gave me this confused smile and made a reference of that being "cute" That ain't cute at all you meatball! I am never going to the sexy gym again. Major flirting fail #972. I wasn't even trying to be funny. I'm just generally sweaty ok?

Ugh, and while on the topic of Fails...Remember I have minorly rear ended two vehicles in the past month?!?! One was in the K-Penny Ferry line up. It was dark. I was half dressed - I mean this is at 6am. Every one gets dressed in their car right?!? So that...sucked.

Well, I think it's about time to change into my naked and watch the Bachelor. This makes me happy and a bit sad. I need to find a room mate ASAP (to fund my generally irresponsible nature) Hmmm, I suppose this is me being RESPONSIBLE. It's just unfortunate that it is socially unacceptable to change into your naked with room mates. Unless they are the naked kind of room mate of course. Hmmm...

That would be "dating smarter" right?

Sleep tight! XO

No comments:

Post a Comment